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Children,
just the thought "I am spiritual, I am spiritually advanced"
or "I am a renunciate" can be a big stumbling block to your
spiritual progress. Such thoughts are also part of the ego, but more
subtle form of ego. You may think "I am great because I have
renounced everything. Look at all those worldly people out there who
are still immersed in the quagmire of materialism. They are so ignorant!"
You may feel that those who live in the world are far beneath you.
If you cherish such thoughts, it only shows that you are mentally
immature. It means you are ignorant. Those who live in the world may
be ignorant, but they are not on the spiritual path; whereas, you
are supposed to be on the spiritual path and yet you are still spiritually
ignorant.
Such thoughts are of the ego and need to be uprooted. If you are under
the guidance of a real Master, you cannot feel this sort of pride.
The Master will immediately notice your pride and uproot it. A subtle
ego is much more powerful and harder to destroy.
A worldly person is proud of his achievements in life and likes to
show them off. His ego is born out of his attachment to the objects
of the external world. He has a big, beautiful house which he is attached
to and feels very proud of. The house is excellent food for his ego.
He is also proud of his power, wealth, reputation, and he sometimes
expresses this on a large scale.
You can experience it in his presence, even the way he walks and talks
will have a certain air of pride about it. The more wealth and power
you have, the more ego you will have. Whether you are wealthy or poor,
the difference is in ego lies only in degree.
Also, the more thoughts you have, the more ego you will have. This
is why scholars, thinkers and speakers are often more egoistic than
others. People who enjoy a high position in society are often very
egotistical, unless they have an attitude of self-surrender. They
are used to being praised by the public, for the exceptional work
they are doing. Usually, the more famous you are, the more egotistic
you are, because the ego grows with all the recognition.
This is what happens to many people who are successful in the world.
In such people, the ego is quite obvious; you will recognize it by
their speech and by their actions. They cannot hide it; they are so
full of ego that there is nowhere for their egos to hide. However,
there are also people who have achieved fame and recognition, and
yet they have remained humble. There are rare exceptions.
It is quite natural for people who lead a materialistic life to be
egoistic. It is pardonable because they don't have the proper spiritual
understanding. This is not the case with spiritual people who have
dedicated their lives solely for that purpose. It has to be their
way of life. They are supposed to be humble and devoid of any ego.
Unfortunately, it may happen that a spiritual person learns how to
hide his ego and pretends to be very humble. He tries not to show
that he has an ego, because he knows that expressing it outwardly
is wrong so far as a spiritual seeker is concerned. He knows that
people won't appreciate it.
It is also like this in the world, but there is a difference. In the
world, once you are recognized as an expert in a field, the country
needs you and you can afford to be egoistic. You can speak and act
selfishly, but you are safe because of your expertise. Your employers,
or those who have appointed you cannot simply throw you out, unless
they have a very good substitute. But in spiritual life it is not
this way. Your spiritual advancement is recognized by the humility,
egolessness and wisdom that you express.
If a so-called spiritual person behaves in a very egoistic way, he
will not be respected by people. He will acquire a bad reputation
within the spiritual community. Knowing this, you will learn to suppress
your anger and all other negative tendencies, and you act and behave
like a spiritually mature person. This becomes far too mental and
subtle. As long as you express it outwardly, it exists on a gross
level. But when you consciously keep it hidden within and act differently
on the outside, it becomes sutble and very dangerous.
You can express your ego outwardly. That too can be harmful, but it
is less so, because at least people will not be deluded. They will
realize that you egoistic and be warned that you may harbor a lot
of anger, hatred and other negative feelings within you. They can
then be careful of you and keep their distance if need be.
But what if you skillfully learn how to hide your ego and pretend
to be a yogi (or very spiritual)? People will then be seriously deluded,
and that would amount to real cheating. But such hypocrisy cannot
last. It cannot be hidden for long because soon your ego will begin
to expose itself. What is hidden within must become manifest sooner
or later, no matter how much one may try to do otherwise. It is just
a question of time.
It is like a mother-in-law with her newly arrived daughter-in-law
(in India it is customary for a newly wed couple to go and live with
the husband's family). She will give her son's wife a lot of love
and attention in the beginning. She will not allow her daughter-in-law
to work in the kitchen, or to clean the house or do any work outside,
as if she were a precious stone which would wear away if it used too
much.
The mother-in-law can be heard telling her "My daughter, don't
even think of such things ! There are many others in the house who
can do the work. Just sit down and relax." When oldest son's
wife hears her mother-in-law say such things to the newcomer, she
smiles to herself, for she knows from experience that it is just a
big show, she knows that her mother-in-law will soon start showing
her real nature.
And this is exactly what happens. Within a week or two, the same mother-in-law
who until now has been so loving and concerned about her new daughter-in-law
can be heard shouting at her "You lazy girl! Do you think you
are the master of this house? We are not your servants! Go and clean
the kitchen!"
This sort of thing is not unusual in Indian families, though sometimes
it is the other way around, and the family will become the victim
of the daughter-in-law. During the first few weeks, she will be very
gentle and loving, but it will not last long for her real nature to
emerge.
This is what happens with people who hide their ego, just to win people
over and gain control over them. They may succeed in hiding their
ego for some time, but it will soon become manifest. Their real nature
will be expressed of it's own accord.
A person who wears the false mask of a spiritually advanced person
does not know what terrible harm he is doing? He is misleading others,
and also paving the way for his own destruction. A number of sincere
people may get trapped in his deception. And once they realize they
have been misled, they will lose their faith.
From then on, they will be suspicious of everything that has to do
with spirituality. They will even be suspicious of genuine masters.
Think of the enormous harm that these so-called spiritual leaders
are doing to society and the human race. The ego of such a person
is very subtle and is difficult to get rid of.
He believes that he is great. This happens naturally because he feels
proud of the big crowds who attend his speeches and the praise people
shower upon him. People say to him "Oh, you are so great and
knowledgeable! What an eloquent speaker you are! You have such presence!"
With all this praise and adoration, he himself will begin to think
that he is great. This thought becomes more and more ingrained in
him, and as it gets deeper it also becomes subtler. He learns to hide
it and he pretends that he is great. But it won't take long for that
which lies hidden within to reveal itself externally. Such people
are easily fooled by others, and at times even act foolishly.
Ultimately -
THE SUBTLE SPIRITUAL EGO IS SPIRITUAL SUICIDE, CONTRADICTING THE WHOLE
PURPOSE OF THE PATH.
When you surrender to a higher consciousness, you give up all your
claims; you release your grip from everything that you've been holding
on to. Whether you gain or lose, it doesn't matter now. You don't
want to be something any longer. You long to be nothing, absolutely
nothing. So you dive into the River of Existence (Infinite Consciousness,
the Self).
The ego, or the mind (the ego is in reality a projection of the mind)
is that which makes you feel that you are something. Unless it can
be eliminated, you cannot dive deep into your own consciousness (the
Self, Brahman, Wahe Guru, Buddha-nature, Christ-consciousness, Allah,
etc, etc). You have to become nothing. Not even a trace of 'I am something'
should remain. If you are something (some-thing, bound still to conceptual
dualistic thinking), there is no entry into the realm of Pure Consciousness
(your real higher eternal Self).
BEAUTY LIES IN EGOLESSNESS
The ego can only destroy. It destroys everything - even life itself.
It destroys everything that is good and beautiful. When the ego is
predominant, ugliness is also predominant, because the ego is inherently
ugly and repulsive. An egoistic person may be considered handsome
and highly capable, but there will nevertheless be an unpleasant feeling
about him.
Ravana the king (of the famous epic the Ramayana) was handsome, majestic
and very talented. He was a great singer and musician. He could play
several instruments beautifully at the same time. He was a great scholar,
a great composer and writer. But there was always something abhorrent
about him.
Even though he had all these great qualities, he also had a disagreeable
nature. This was because he was extremely egotistic. He thought he
was greater than everybody else. The thought that 'I am something
great' creates a certain ugliness in people.
Vedavyasa, on the other hand was not at all handsome. But his presence
was divine and exceptionally beautiful because he was the very embodiment
of humility and simplicity. He had no ego. He was genuinely great,
but he never claimed that he was great in any way. He thought of himself
as being nothing, and because of this he was everything.
Vedavyasa was a completely surrendered soul; whereas Ravana had not
surrendered at all. Ravana had a grossly inflated ego; whereas Vedavyasa
had no individual ego at all. He was Pure Infinite Consciousness personified.
The difference is enormous.
THE PARADOX OF THE SPIRITUAL PATH IS THAT ONLY BY BECOMING NOTHING
ONE
WITH GENUINELY NO EGO AS A RESULT OF NO CONCEPTUAL DUALISTIC THOUGHTS
IN THE MIND
ULTIMATELY
YOU BECOME EVERYTHING AS PURE UNLIMITED INFINITE CONSCIOUSNESS
(Ammachi
is a living saint from S. India who visits the US once or twice a
year).
From
more info on Ammachi, you can visit her official website at:
www.ammachi.org
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